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Laminated - Last March, somewhere adrift in the Atlantic Ocean, my father-in-law took a crap. He was volunteering on one of those accessible tall ship holidays and, being familiar with the loo, and not having brought reading material, he didn't switch on the light. As he pressed the flush, the phosphorescence in the swirling sea water lit up the pan like fairy lights. How cool is that? Not so much polishing a turd as giving it Disney sparkle. I find that very inspiring. It's what I?ve tried to do ever since the shit hit the fan. Marion Allen's Number One Hobby - Marion enters customer competitions on cereal boxes and chocolate wrappers. Statistically speaking, you have a surprisingly good chance of winning a competition if you enter enough of them; better odds than one in six hundred thousand, which is your chance of becoming famous, or twenty million to one, which is your chance of becoming a Saint. But what were the chances of that thing happening one Wednesday while Casualty was on? A double bill by Lucy Bell and Bea Roberts, performed script-in-hand by Kirsty Cox.