Find the best Steptoe and Son - Live! play tickets at Forum Theatre, Billingham. Two Men. Two World Wars. Two lives knitted together as tight as a thrice darned sock. Bound together by birth, business and bloody bad luck, Albert and Harold Steptoe wake up every morning to the same old, same old, sickening sight of each other. Joined at the hip and heart, they bother, bicker and banter their way through life - toying with each others frailties like mean kittens. Do they even notice the world turning as they cling on? There are ladies if they would only look around them, and space travel... and Cliff Richard! "Open your eyes" we shout from the stalls! "Look up at the moon and count the stars!" But they can't. Or won't. Families, eh?